I slipped. I slipped and Father Greg has given me an opportunity to go to a 90-day program, get clean, and get my job back. Rehab, some of them are like houses or buildings, just depends. I went to rehab about three weeks ago. I stayed there for two weeks in Pasadena. It was a house, a nice house, very nice. Everything was nice about it.
I guess after I got clean, in my mind I was like I don’t need this shit! I don’t need Homeboy’s to give me a job. I can just get a job on my own, which I did. The only hard part was I did not have a place to stay. That was the hard part. I was actually bouncing from girl to girl. Sleeping with different girls and just asking them, “Can I stay here for the night?” But I felt bad doing that because some of the girls would really like me. Some of them would actually tell me to stay and I just, man…I guess I am not really that much of a bad guy because I felt bad doing that. I felt bad to do that because I did not like them like that. I didn’t want to lead them on, you know? I think that is messed up! I would hate for that to be done to me. So I would leave the next day. It was hard you know. It was like where do I go tonight? I would go to work but then after work, it was like, where am I going to go shower?
You know, this sucked. My mom did not want me at the house no more. That was hard. There really was not too much room. I have two baby brothers, one is 21 and the other 18. Then, I have my two sisters, one is two years old and the other is six, all in a two-bedroom apartment. My mom actually tried, she let me back. Within two days living with her, she said it was not working out. She let me out. That was the hardest deal right there, because that was my last hope of doing it by myself without coming back to Homeboy’s. I was trying to make it happen. So I ended up using females again.
Then, I lost my car! They took my car at work. They towed it because it was in a tow away zone, at 3:00. It was like 3:15 when I ran down there. I had lost track of time, I was into my work. I was making cookies actually, in Hollywood, working in the kitchen. I ran down the stairs. I remember going out there and my car was not there, no cars were there. All the cars were gone because everyone had moved their cars!
I wanted to break down. I remember it was like it was everything. That was basically it, right there. I was like, “Damn, now I have nothing! I got no home, got no car, got no women, nothing!” I came to Father Greg. I came to see if he would help me to get my car out. Usually, Father Greg helps, but he said to me this time, “We don’t have the funds. I can give you a car and I can give you a job, but that is not going to change what is going on with you. It’s not going to change the issues you are going through. The addiction you are going through, that isn’t going to change it. You have to surrender, you have to retreat. You have to get your mind right again, you have to get clean. Deal with your problems and get them out of the way, fix yourself, repair yourself.”
And he was right, you know? Hearing that from him For the rest of the interview to be found in the book.